


Dear Agony

by likeboadicea



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-11-07 23:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11069514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likeboadicea/pseuds/likeboadicea
Summary: "The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable."  - Sun Tzu





	1. As I Am, So Shall You Be

"The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable." - Sun Tzu

 

She awoke to darkness so complete, Petra wondered if she had been blinded. The blackness slowly, softly begin to melt away the longer her eyes were open, a beam of moonlight weakly illuminating what appeared to be stalactites above her. It must be an overcast night, or perhaps a new moon, but she can tell that the mouth of the cave is nearby. Its subtle but there’s a slight color variation where the rock formation gives way to the tree line, the branches outlined in watery starlight. 

“Hello? Is anyone there?” Petra winced. The words echoed in the silence, without so much as a whisper of a breeze to soften the edges. 

She prepared to sit up, bunching her core muscles for the action, intending to survey her surrounds, or move if the situation warranted it. 

Nothing happened. 

She tried again, putting more force into the movement, but she remained horizontal.

What the hell? She couldn’t move. Why couldn’t she move? Her arms felt weak and her shoulders sore, and she belatedly realized that she couldn’t feel anything south of her belly button.

Panic settled in with a fine sheen of sweat as she struggled not to hyperventilate, resisting the urge to cry out. 

What happened? Where is she? Where is Captain Levi—Aururo, Eld, Gunther? Eren?

As if their names unlocked a floodgate, it all came rushing back and a drawn out cry of rage erupted from her throat.

Gunther, his neck sliced, dangling limp from his 3DM gear. The female titan, spitting Eld’s torso from between bloody lips. The sickening crunch of her own body launched into the base of a tree, an impossible snap from the curve of her spine, and darkness descended upon her. 

Her sustained scream withered into a wail of grief. 

Where is Auruo, her sole remaining teammate? If she’s alive, surely he is too. Auruo with his cocky grin and aloof attitude over his solo kill count, but his eyes were gentle as he looked upon those he cared for when he thought they weren’t looking. They had been in the same cadet core. He was the only classmate to surpass her, claiming that coveted number one slot in the graduation class, while she snagged the second. 

Petra has never known the military, the Scouts, without Auruo in it. 

She forced herself into silence, clamping her jaws closed upon her cry, splitting her lip open in the process. She is a soldier. There will be a time to pay her respects to the dead later. Surely Eld and Gunther would understand that—wouldn’t they? 

The hot spill of blood on her chin made her realize just how cold she was. The weather was beginning to turn, the previously stagnant air stirred the leaves littering the cave floor. Autumn was well on its way. A streak of lightning brilliantly rivaled daylight for a moment before abandoning her to the night once more.

He must have gotten her to safety, carried her to this cave, and gone to find Captain Levi, to regroup. Eren would be with him, safe and sound if a little put out with Auruo’s overbearing temperament. Yes, that’s it. They would stroll through the cave entrance any minute now to help her along, all the while making shitty jokes about her injury that would still, somehow, impossibly, make her laugh. They would all go home and—

“Ah, you’ve finally regained consciousness,” said a voice from the front of the cave. 

Her head snapped to the right, following the sound, eyes narrowing in an attempt to locate the figure in the gloom.

“I wondered if you would,” the voice continued, “or if my gamble had fallen to the wayside. Annie wasn’t exactly gentle with her handling of you.” 

It was a man, but it was not Auruo, or Captain Levi, or even Eren. “Who are you? Who is Annie?” her voice was reduced to nothing more than a harsh croak. “What squad are you in?”

Thunder followed the lightning. Petra felt the earth beneath her tremble. The man laughed. “Oh, my dear. I am not a soldier.” 

Confusion contorted her features and she attempted to sit up once more. Again, she failed, and her head flopped back against the cushion of her cloak in defeat. Dizziness fogged her conscious and threatened to tug her back into oblivion. She felt emotionally drained, weighed down by the remembrance of the loss of the majority of her squad. Her very soul clamored for a moment, just a small moment, for the world to stop. So she could grieve. So she could set aside her strength and bravery to mourn, before picking the mantle back up, resolved to honor and carry their memory with her. “Not a soldier?” she asked. “But civilians don’t go outside the wall. It isn’t safe.”

He took a step closer and Petra was gradually able to make out his features as her vision blurred. He wore glasses that reflected the little light that permeated the cave, had a scraggily beard, and fair hair. She had never seen him before, Petra was certain of it, but the intensity in his eyes tickled her memory. 

The corners of his mouth turned up in a small grin. It was the last thing she saw, but his words still echoed in her mind. “You may call me Zeke. I am a warrior. And as I am, so shall you be.”


	2. What It Really Means To Lose Your Innocence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own SNK or its characters, no matter how often I cry over them.

“Petra! Don’t drag your feet. We’re moving out."

Her topaz eyes narrowed in defiance, a litany of, _‘fuck off,’_ on the tip of her tongue, but Zeke seemed to gather her sentiment before she could so much as inhale. He sighed, put out, and pushed his spectacles further up the bridge of his nose. “Come now, Pet. I’d hate to make you travel in the barrel again, tied up to be jostled about. Pieck can only make the ride so smooth, after all. And I’d be denied your intriguing company.”

Pet. What an awful, ironic nickname. She scowled and did not respond, she merely tightened the straps of her sack and fell into step with the rest of the crowd, frightened villagers they had scrounged together, their hands bound before them with rope. Most were too frightened or confused to offer much in the way of resistance, instead stumbling along in a blind haze. She knew not what their captors planned on doing with them. But whatever it was, it had Petra on edge. Flight nor resistance would do any good, she knew from past experience. She had tried slipping away, fighting her way out, and even transforming, but none of it worked. Her captors outnumbered her in too large of a capacity, especially without her 3DM gear. Bertholdt and Reiner walked near the front of the formation, she could just barely see the gleam of sunlight upon their gear. 

Petra turned away. The sight of them made her sick. _Traitors._

Her own gear had been confiscated that night in the cave, whether to be destroyed or given to another, she did not know.

Zeke must have noticed her gaze. “Ingenious equipment, your—vertical maneuvering gear, is it? Very clever. What is the history behind it?”

In the past few weeks Petra had come to realize Zeke’s incorrigible curiosity. He wanted to know the mechanisms behind every bit of their gear, the history of the military, the walls, their cultures—everything. 

“I can’t recall the story behind the design.” Even if she did, like hell would she share their history with these people. Zeke is cunning enough that he would most likely twist the information around to his advantage. “We studied it during cadet training, but retaining that information wasn’t as near as important as the maneuverability aspect of the gear.”

“Quite right, quite right,” he murmured. His fingers stroked the chin of his beard in thought.

“Where are we going?” Petra replied with a question of her own before he could ask her anything else. Evading his inquires was tiresome and he was prone to fits of rage should she ignore him, or meet his words with sarcasm. The bruises littering her ribcage were testimony to that. 

To her surprise, he smiled. “We’re going back to the start.”

And with that, he was done humoring her. He broke into an easy jog, pulling away from her, until he met up with Bertholdt and Reiner. They were too far away for Petra to hear what they discussed. She frowned and readjusted her pack.

The start? That could mean so many things: wherever it is that her captors came from. No one had specifically told her so, but judging from their behavior and snatches of conversation she overheard the past few weeks, Petra would wager a guess that they did not hail from inside the walls. The underground, maybe, but even that would be a stretch. 

Or maybe he meant the giant forest where the Female Titan had first tried to capture Eren. Annie, Petra had heard Reiner call her, had apparently been captured and was being held at an undisclosed location. 

It was better than what she deserved after what she did to Gunther, Eld, and Auruo. Her squad. 

Petra clenched her jaw at the resurfacing memory, grinding her teeth together so hard she felt a crack. 

Not that it mattered.

Her body would heal anyway.

 

_She faded in and out of consciousness for days following her initial encounter with Zeke in the cave. The center of her back and her core throbbed. The ache wasn’t as bad as the numbness in her legs. She heard a woman’s voice say something about ‘massive internal hemorrhaging’ and ‘she shouldn’t even be alive.’_

_“She wasn’t for awhile,” a voice replied. Zeke. “She was wrapped in something of a death shroud when I found her, barely breathing, her heart stuttering faintly. Her people probably left her for dead, lying in an open field. An understandable pity.”_

_Petra believed the Scouts had their reasons. She was certain of it. Its terribly difficult to bring their dead home safely. But it still stung._

_They left her behind._

_She coughed, unable to remain quiet any longer with the building pressure in her chest. Their conversation ceased and the pair returned to her. Cool hands brushed her hair from her temples before knuckles pressed to her forehead, taking her temperature._

_Amber eyes cracked open, pupils blown out with fever, to see a woman with long dark hair kneeling next to Zeke beside her. “I’m not sure how mush longer she’ll last,” she said. “Her condition isn’t improving. Neither is Renee’s. If we’re going to use her, we’ll need to prepare for the transformation soon. Today, preferably. She may not make it through another night.”_

_“I see,” said Zeke. He was quiet for a moment before bracing his hands on his knees to stand. “The troops are stationed far enough away to avoid interference. Bring her outside, Pieck. I’ll fetch Renee.” He departed further into the belly of the cave._

_The woman, Pieck, turned to watch him disappear into the gloom. When she turned back to face Petra, her lips were curved into a loose smile, dark locks obscuring the edges of her face. “You’re awake, huh? Good.”_

_She readjusted Petra’s arms, folding her hands together over her stomach. “What’s your name? We haven’t had the chance to ask yet.”_

_Petra didn’t know either of them, but if there was a good chance she would die here, she found nothing wrong with giving out her name. “Ral. Petra Ral. Of the Survey Corps’ Special Operations Squad.” She always held pride in her title, no matter how badly she struggled for breath reciting it._

_“I’m Pieck. Its nice to meet you, Petra. I’m going to move you now. Brace yourself—it might hurt a bit.” Her fingers gripped the edge of the military-issued tarp Petra laid upon from above Petra’s head, dragging her along towards the cave entrance. Petra bit back a cry as she was pulled over a particularly large rock._

_“Special Ops, eh?” Pieck continued. “That’s good to hear. You’ll need to be strong to endure this.”_

_Discomfort forced her into a more alert state. “What d’you mean?” Petra asked. “My back? I’ve survived worse.”_

_Pieck gave a dry laugh. “Your back wasn’t what I was referring to. But with the internal bleeding you have going on, you won’t survive that long either.” She swore quietly under her breath, gave another tug, and Petra was outside. Twilight was setting in, stars twinkled into existence between blushing streaks of dying sunlight. Another reminder of their beautiful, cruel world._

_Petra closed her eyes. “If I’m dying, I suppose this is a peaceful sort of place to do it.” The realization was quiet somehow. Not unwelcome. Far less gruesome than the last time she believed she was going to die. Her thoughts wandered to her squad, her captain. Had Captain Levi and Auruo faired better than the rest of them? Did they capture the Female Titan and keep Eren safe? In those last moments, she thought she saw Eren turn around in the gloom, the pressure of contained gas propelling him through the trees like a bird of prey. Stubborn boy. Even so, surely Auruo and Levi protected him. She had to believe that._

_The thought of Levi, his steel eyes and sharp-cut features, inspired the burn of remorse. She would’ve liked to say-- something to him. Not a goodbye. That would be too terribly final, and Levi would never approve. Words of gratitude, perhaps, to thank him for all he'd done for her. An apology for letting him down on one of the most important missions in the history of the Scouts._

_“Don’t give up just yet, soldier. With any luck, you’ll pull through.” The look Petra gave her spoke of gratitude, and Pieck shook her head. “Don’t go around thanking us. We’re not doing this out of the kindness of our hearts. You need this and, with it, we’ll need you. Don’t forget the service being done for you.”_

_Before she could ask what she meant by that, Zeke emerged from the cave behind them, a slight young man in his arms. The boy was pale and fair haired, all washed out, muted colors. He looked to be asleep, and in worse shape than Petra. There was something distinctly wrong with the shape of his head, but from her low vantage point Petra could not get a good look._

_Zeke placed the boy beside her carefully and what she saw made her stomach roll._

_The right side of his cranium was entirely caved in, starting from the bridge of his nose to somewhere behind where his ear would have been. The wound had been dressed and cleansed, covered in bandages white as snow. Even with such care, Petra could not imagine anyone recovering from so severe an injury. The stench of rot had already begun to permeate the wound._

_“He did his duty. He knew the risks.” When she looked back up to Zeke, she found his bespectacled gaze on her rather than his comrade._

_He held a syringe in his hand._

_“You’ll be confused for sometime,” he continued, “but you’ll know the risks soon enough as well. I’ll explain everything after. You should be honored. This is a responsibility usually bestowed upon our brightest Warriors.”_

_“After?” Panic drew her voice up an octave, her flight response kicking in. Her useless legs prevented any means of quick escape. “After what?”_

_“This.” He grabbed her arm, jabbed the needle into the crook of her elbow, and injected the contents._

_Petra experienced a searing flash of heat, pain as quick as lightning, and she knew no more._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait loves! I was originally going to make this chapter much longer, but decided to break it down into two parts so I could treat y'all to a little something before the fourth of July. Enjoy! 
> 
> And to my readers in the States, have a safe and happy holiday!


	3. A Survival Plan of Sorts

_She came to with a start to darkness once more. Except this time she was outside beside the warmth of a campfire._

_"You're awake."_

_She could not be bothered to look up at her companion yet, too enthralled with the sight of her legs, curved beneath her as she sat up on her own, tingling with discomfort for how long they had been bent in the same position. She wiggled her toes._

_"But—my legs. . ." her words broken with shock as she looked up. Both Zeke and Pieck sat on the opposite side of the fire. "Was it all a dream?"_

_"Of course not," came Pieck's soft scoff. Her voice still had its quiet melody, like the coo of a dove. She was an array of soft edges, all sloping shoulders and lanky hair._

_Zeke's baritone was far more direct, that of a man who was used to being listened to. "We turned you into a titan," he said._

_Silence._

_Petra blinked repeatedly, unsure if she heard that correctly. "Come again?"_

_"Like that boy you were protecting. I—we, both Pieck and I—are titan shifters. I injected you with my spinal fluid, which transformed you into an average titan—confused, hungry, but docile enough under my command," Zeke said. He sounded bored, as if this was not the first time he had explained this process to someone. "You consumed Renee, biting into his spinal fluid, and thus inheriting his titan shifting ability. Pity; I won't have influence over you for much longer, as you come into your own powers. That would have proved helpful."_

_Waves of emotion bombarded Petra, disbelief being foremost, lingering among those which followed. Nausea. Fear. Confusion. Even joy at her reclaimed mobility._

_"Me? A titan?"_

_She never envied Eren his ability. Growing up behind the walls, where the word titan was synonymous with fear and death—transforming into their greatest enemy was a great weight to bear. Especially for a fifteen year old boy. Petra did not pity him, he was far too strong-willed for that, but she felt a fierce sense of protectiveness over him._

_"So Eren isn't the only one. . . " she trailed off._

_"Eren, hm?" asked Pieck, staring into the steaming mug in her hands. It smelled like a very strong, tangy tea. "Is that your green-eyed monster's name?"_

_"He isn't a monster!" Petra argued, shakily rising to her feet. Standing was easier than she anticipated, her thighs free of gear. What happened to it? "He's a boy—a soldier." And it was her sworn duty to protect him._

_A duty she had failed, letting down her squad. The Scouts. Commander Erwin. Captain Levi._

_Shame ran through her veins. But it also centered her thoughts._

_"How do you know about Eren?" Her voice was deadly steady._

_Silence echoed from the opposite side of the flames._

_Petra vaulted the fire, most likely scorching the soles of her boots in the process, but she was too furious to care. " I asked you a question." Word of his abilities may have spread through the Scouts, and perhaps even to the other branches of the military by now as well, but it did not sit right with her that people who claimed to not be part of the military, who could, apparently, also turn ordinary people into titans, knew so much about him, when Eren himself knew so little about his capabilities. Could it be?_

_The Female titan had hidden amongst them as an ordinary scout…_

_"Are you working with her? The Female titan who was after Eren?" The image of Gunther and Eld flashed through her mind. She grabbed Zeke by the collar of his shirt, a rapid shake echoing down her forearms. "The titan who murdered my comrades? Answer me, dammit!"_

_If only she had her blades! Her fingers itched to curl about them, to anchor herself in their familiar weight. A trained soldier, she had endured too much to allow her anger to reduce her to trembling. Her captain was the Scout's best in intimidation tactics. She was not fool enough to believe she could actually frighten Zeke and Pieck, but at least she could look fearless in the process of questioning them._

_Zeke raised his hands, whether in a gesture for her to calm down, or an offering of peace, she was not sure. "You must be referring to Annie," he said. "She is one of our Warriors, yes."_

_"But we have no intention of harming your precious little Eren. He wasn't in any danger from her," Pieck interjected. "You're in the same position he's in now. So long as you cooperate—"_

_"Why the hell would we cooperate with you when we know nothing about you—when you breached Wall Maria?! Do you have any idea how many people died unnecessarily thanks to you?" Too many to count. Men, women, children, soldiers. The titans had no bias. A third of the human population within the walls had been wiped out following the breach, a combination of lives lost during the incident and the doomed attempt to reclaim the land weeks later, not to mention the countless Scouts who laid down their lives for the cause of building the supply train in the hopes of one day being able to repair the damage done by the Colassal Titan. Now her own squad, her carefully assembled family for the past two years, has been added to the fatalities. Please let Auruo and Levi be safe._

_"Because we saved your life when we just as easily could have left you to rot in that field." Zeke made an impatient noise in the back of his throat, but his voice and expression were both unperturbed despite her hold on him. "Though it is a gift we can take back just as easily. We chose you out of convenience, not necessity. "_

_"It doesn't matter if it was convenience or necessity. Either way, you still chose me. Petral Ral, of the Couting Legion's Special Ops Unit. I have dedicated myself to the freedom of humanity. And you must face the consequences of your choice."_

_With those words on her lips, she sunk her teeth into the soft flesh of her hand, as she had witnessed Eren do before, and had done so herself, what felt like years ago, in the dim lighting of the mess hall._

_This time was different._

_Her bite pierced the skin and she tasted the salty tang of blood before electricity jolted along her spine, out to her limb and through her bones. A reckless maneuver, perhaps, but her instincts screamed at her not to trust Zeke or Pieck and, after all, hadn't she originally been selected for the Special Ops Squad for her quick thinking in the field? There was also a small part of her that couldn't quite belive their words. That she was now a Titan Shifter._

_In that regard, they were not lying._

_The transformation was uncomfortable, but not unbearable. Muscule and sinew wound about her like a swaddling blanket, branching off from her cheekbones, her fingertips, her ribcage. Petra gasped for breath, thankful that tight, pressing spaces had never bothered her, and she was surprised to find the action followed through in the titan's corporal form rather than her own. Flexing her fingers and blinking her eyes open yielded the same results. She could see the press of trees and the small forms of Zeke and Pieck from a high vantage point, perhaps 10 meters up. Her hair spilled down her back to her waist, the tickling sensation foreign, unfelt since the early years of her time in the Scouts, before she had sheared it away for practicalities sake. How did she look in this form, she wondered. As monstrous as she imagined?_

_Petra bellowed, the screech satisfying in its own right._

_Was this how Eren felt in Titan form? As if the possibilities were limitless, the world at his fingertips? The humans at her feet were meaningless. She could easily flee, leave them and their petty threats behind, return to the Wall—to Levi, to her remaining squad—_

_Zeke transformed and was upon her before she could so much as blink._

_His titan form towered over hers by several meters and was covered in a thick layer of mud-colored fur. There was no time to register further details. He had her in a full body lock: her face pressed down into soft earth, his feet planted firmly on either side of her body, fingers wrapped in golden hair, keeping her firmly in place. "Don't make things more difficult than they need to be Petra," he said._

_She froze at the guttural voice of the titan above her. With the knowledge of Titan Shifters, as well as the account that had been reported in the journal of Ilse Langnar, she supposed she should not be surprised Zeke's was capable of speech, but it was still enough to inspire the stillness of the hunted in her limbs._

_"You can't outrun me," he continued, "and even if you were able to escape, you're too unskilled to survive on your own. You're not invulnerable to titans. An hour, maybe two, is all a rookie like you would last before your grasp on your titan form would begin to falter. And then they'll come for you—hordes of titans, drawn to the feast." The pressure locking her arms together loosened minutely, enough to draw breath easily once again, but not so much as to offer a means of escape. "We can't have you eaten by the masses after all the trouble we went through to keep this particular shifting ability from falling to the wayside."_

_Petra turned her face to the side, smearing dirt across her cheeks, amber eyes glaring, and managed to rumble out three words: "Why… take… trouble?"_

_Speaking felt heavy, like her lips were weighed down and clumsy. The words were clear in her mind, but voicing them was difficult. It surprised her how much the voice sounded like her own: the same careful lit to her vowels, just a deeper effeminate timber._

_"Why should we tell you?" Pieck spoke up. "You think you're the only one fighting to protect your people? Our fates aren't the only ones hanging in the balance. It would be a liability to overshare until she has proven her loyalty."_

_"Of course, Pieck. You're quite right." Zeke sat up, lower legs yet pinning her by the middle, but her arms were freed. Petra made an attempt to strike, fingers curved to claws with the intent of scratching across his face or, better yet, gouging his eyes to better her chances of escape. A blind enemy is far easier to evade. Unfortunately, Zeke seemed to expect such a reaction and blocked her arm with all the casualness of someone shooing away a fly. His gaze feel to her, his eyes an unnerving shade of yellow, like a nocturnal predator. "Do stop squirming, Petra."_

_Instantaneously, her limbs locked up without her consent, frozen to inaction. No amount of wriggling her torso or further willing her arm to follow through on its swing could free her from the invisible constriction binding her as sure as iron fetters._

_". . . What?" Even her mouth could barely articulate the word._

_Zeke's answering smile was patient. Sincere. It unsettled her. "Just a little trick or two of mine. Nothing to worry about. Now, for your own safety, let's continue this conversation in a more—humanitarian way, hm?" He grasped the arm that had been lifted to strike him and pulled it toward her opposite shoulder, effectively twisting her torso. Leaning down, a macabre parady of a lover leaning in for a kiss, Petra's eyes widened in realization._

_"No—don't!"_

_So even her titan form could sound fearful._

_Her efforts for escape doubled, muscles spasming, but her body yet refused to yield, stuck in place as Zeke's teeth sunk into her exposed nape, her world dwindling to the sound of tearing flesh. A bolt of agony speared from that exact place on her corporal form. Darkness descended. The last thing she heard was Pieck's laughter._

_She awoke two days later, parched and starving. Pieck, the only one present when Petra came to, remained tight-lipped about her inability to control her own titan form following Zeke's command, but offered her a canteen, which she sipped water from slowly to avoid making herself sick, and a bit of food that strongly reminded her of military rations._

_"Where are we?" she asked Pieck after taking a cautious nibble. The texture was awful, rubbery and rough on her tongue, but the taste no worse than the bland foods the Scout received._

_"Still within the confines of your forsaken Wall Maria. Don't get too comfortable. The first sign of titan activity and we'll need to be on the move." The other girl sat with her back against a nearby tree, hands braced against her knees and her head bowed. A curtain of lank, dark hair obscured her features, but Petra thought she looked drained by the hunch of her shoulders._

_Petra did not respond. Instead, she took another bite of the tasteless food and mulled over the information._

_They were in an unfamiliar region of Wall Maria. If it were nighttime she could perhaps better pinpoint their location from the stars, but without moving during the day she could not even determine if their goal was north or south, east or west._

_"So," Petra started, shakily rising to her feet to stretch her muscles, sore from disuse. She pulled one arm across her chest, testing shoulder muscles. "Are you like Zeke? And—me, I suppose. A titan-shifter?"_

_Pieck turned a grin her way. "You certainly ask a lot of questions. Do you think they'd be crazy enough to send a regular ol' girl here with Zeke and Renee?"_

_Petra's face flushed. In hindsight, it may have been a silly question, but there was still so much she did not know, so much she has merely guessed at for so long, before the massacre of the 57th expedition even. "Where is Zeke anyway?" she asked._

_The warrior shrugged in response. "Surveying the area most likely. Its almost dusk. We'll be moving in an hour or so anyway, whether or not he's here. He'll catch up. We have a schedule to keep."_

_Her time with the pair was yet short lived—how long has it been since the dawning of the 57th? How many days total was she unconscious?— but the difference between their strategy in regards to the titans, and that of the scouts was vastly different. Perhaps due to their seemingly more apt knowledge of the enemy? Still, Petra could not imagine the Scouts so brazenly leaving a comrade like Pieck spoke of leaving Zeke. Soldiers are abandoned on nearly every mission, but it was always a calculated move with no other viable options, made with a heavy heart._

_Petra wished she knew more about them. Where they came from. They were certainly different from anyone else she had met. They had confirmed their involvement with the Female Titan, suspicious in its own right, but little less._

_Perhaps there could be a way to discuss whatever grudge they and their people harbored, to solve their differences in a civilized manner rather than taunt and murder one another. Such behavior made them no better than the titans. Pieck and Zeke obviously knew more about the creatures, having harnessed the science of becoming shifters. Certainly that's what it was._

_Science._

_Hange would be thrilled._

_The thought of her comrade brought a smile to Petra's face and an ache to her chest. She missed the scientist and all of her brilliant quirks. Her squad and banter held between people who knew one another down to their very soul. Captain Levi and the quiet, intense devotion he inspired._

_Maybe if they all worked together, her people and theirs, they could all find a way to vanquish the titans. That would be preferable to war._

_Wouldn't it?_

_Petra directed her soft grin to Pieck. "I never got the chance to thank you. For rescuing me. I know you said it was for your own means rather than mine, but still. Thank you. Without that intervention I'd be dead."_

_Pieck snorted. "There are worse things than death. But. . . you are welcome."_

_Petra moved to limbering her legs and back, stretching down to touch her toes. "This may seem like a morbid question, but. . . how did the two of you find me? I understand you're keeping your motives and your mission to yourself. You don't trust me. I respect that. I don't trust you. But I don't remember anything between the Female Titan—Annie, was it?—taking me out and waking up in that cave." Her gaze flickered downward, her fingers twisting up clumps of grass by the root. "I just want to know if my comrades are okay."_

_A sigh issued forth a few feet away. The other girl was quiet for so long, Petra thought she had elected to ignore the inquiry, until Pieck spoke in that subdued way of hers. "You were the only one we found alive, if that's what you mean. There were maybe a dozen bodies in that field, all shrouded like you were, most of them trampled. That's all I know."_

_Pieck rose to her feet with some difficultly, leaning upon the tree for support until she got her bearings._ Was she injured somehow? _"You're lucky," she continued. "That location was rather far out of our way. But Zeke had gathered intel about Annie's involvement in that mission. We thought it would be worth a look. And then Renee, the little pompous idiot, didn't follow orders and went off on his own. You saw what became of that."_

_Petra grimaced. Indeed she had. Her sleep was yet riddled with visions: an 8-meter titan reaching out for her, chewing almost thoughtfully on her head after grasping hold of her, the sickening crunch as her skull gave way. Except the scream that filled her ears was not her own. It was deeper. Masculine. "I've been having these dreams—" she started._

_"They're normal," Pieck interrupted. "Take them as a lesson of sorts. Learn from them." She took a cautious step forward. And another when her gait remained steady. "Enough questions. Time to go."_

_It was Petra's turn to sigh. She straightened and followed her companion, making the decision to stay with her and Zeke for now. Safety came in numbers, especially in titan territory, and without the assistance of 3DMG._

_And maybe she could learn something about these people, their motives and goals, and get a message to Commander Erwin somehow. She had sworn her devotion to humanity, to their freedom._

_To Captain Levi._

_She would do what she could to further the cause. Even if it meant parading as a potential enemy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild update appears!! This chapter is a bit beefier than the first two, however, so I hope that slightly makes up for the delay in posting. 
> 
> Petra's looking to play a double agent! How will that pan out? Stay tuned to see ;D


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